Good lord. I thought this should be easier and it would have been if I'd seen the pop up window to add images!
Eye candy! These are the images that I submitted to The Flow. Photographs by www.davidorrphotography.com
Saturday, January 8, 2011
How I learned to add images to my blog >:-\
Good lord. I thought this should be easier and it would have been if I'd seen the pop up window to add images!
Eye candy! These are the images that I submitted to The Flow. Photographs by www.davidorrphotography.com
2 years later alive and kickin … sort of.
There must be something about the new year, that compels me to find the blog I started 3 years ago and managed to only eek out 2 postings. Then, spend hours trying to remember how to log into my account with now defunct email accounts and passwords. Of note I had the same email for almost 8 years. I don't like to let things go. Mostly because I'm lazy and a participant of an almost victimless crime…inertia.
So what does it all mean? I dunno. A few years ago I had a bit of a nervous breakdown. A midlife crisis. I awoke from a self-induced coma and found I was drastically unhappy. I blamed it on the fact that I was only a few years away from being 45! OMG my life is OVER! (even worse now that I'm 44 and a half. There I just admitted my age which I don't like doing.) So what could I do about not being young anymore? I decided to focus on my appearance. Which i had just spent all of my life not thinking about. I decided to work out and to lose weight to appear more youthful. Fast Forward a couple of years and I managed to lose up to 52 pounds... put almost 10 of that back on depending on the week. Darn it. But I still have a net loss of about 42 pounds. Not bad. But I would like to lose about 40 more. I don't care about health benefits. I want to look hot! Here's to losing the rest of it in 2011.
During this time of trying to find who am I, what the hell will make me happy, and finding out I had no clue, I injured my knee working out. That was fun. 8-9-09 I had 180 pounds of leg press fall on me at the gym. I was out of work for 3 weeks. Infuriated that my weight loss goals were stalled and had no idea how long it would take me to recover and get back in the saddle. But it was a nice break from my job. Sort of.
I've found lately I have regrets and my regrets are nothing I can do much about except really figure out how to let things go. I'm in a period of mourning things. My lost youth. My incredibly massively low self esteem that for years hampered more than I had a clue. Never being the "pretty girl". The problem is, looking at my High School photo... I was a pretty girl. Thus my anger at myself for beating myself up all those years and thinking I was hideous. Shame. A lot of wasted time. I was miserable and unhappy and didn't know how to make it stop. That is my biggest regret. Not having more fun, not relishing the adventures ahead, that are now behind me. I guess in letting go, perhaps I can try to find enthusiasm for the adventures left ahead of me now.
One thing that does continue to bring me happiness is creating and developing new friendships, learning new things and being creative. I have to create or I believe my soul is destroyed. I took a very long break from doing something that brought me pleasure and that was designing jewelry. Part of that was on purpose. In 2009 I was burnt out. I had put a lot of work in and didn't see a lot of return. I also figured I needed to come up with something new and different and to focus on making my beads better. I decided to let my etsy shop go dormant and focusing on improving my craftsmanship in my flame worked beads. Nothing was selling online and the economy desintergrated. Then I injured my knee. Then I got sick with H1N1. For 6 weeks. That was thrilling. I've never been so sick I don't think. Then I had job changes. I continue to have job changes. And those have made me not happy.
But as I've been unhappy with my professional life, I have returned to designing jewelry and it has been fun. I did a couple of holiday shows, Glendale Glitters and Mesa Arts Festival. I made A LOT of new pieces. I got many of them on consignment at The Store at the Mesa Arts Center in Mesa, AZ and at Textures Hair Salon in Scottsdale, AZ. I got a bead and a necklace published in The Flow Magazine Winter 2010 Women in Glass edition. I'm on page 8. And finally I'm going to be getting around to doing the work required to get my etsy shop back up and running. And i have a ridiculously long to do list to improve my professional life and my personal life still. Which I intend to work on and forgive myself if it takes a while or sometimes I just don't get to it.
I'm hoping for a much better 2011 for me and everyone out there who has been struggling or facing hardships or have lost their way and are determined to find it again. Like I am.
So what does it all mean? I dunno. A few years ago I had a bit of a nervous breakdown. A midlife crisis. I awoke from a self-induced coma and found I was drastically unhappy. I blamed it on the fact that I was only a few years away from being 45! OMG my life is OVER! (even worse now that I'm 44 and a half. There I just admitted my age which I don't like doing.) So what could I do about not being young anymore? I decided to focus on my appearance. Which i had just spent all of my life not thinking about. I decided to work out and to lose weight to appear more youthful. Fast Forward a couple of years and I managed to lose up to 52 pounds... put almost 10 of that back on depending on the week. Darn it. But I still have a net loss of about 42 pounds. Not bad. But I would like to lose about 40 more. I don't care about health benefits. I want to look hot! Here's to losing the rest of it in 2011.
During this time of trying to find who am I, what the hell will make me happy, and finding out I had no clue, I injured my knee working out. That was fun. 8-9-09 I had 180 pounds of leg press fall on me at the gym. I was out of work for 3 weeks. Infuriated that my weight loss goals were stalled and had no idea how long it would take me to recover and get back in the saddle. But it was a nice break from my job. Sort of.
I've found lately I have regrets and my regrets are nothing I can do much about except really figure out how to let things go. I'm in a period of mourning things. My lost youth. My incredibly massively low self esteem that for years hampered more than I had a clue. Never being the "pretty girl". The problem is, looking at my High School photo... I was a pretty girl. Thus my anger at myself for beating myself up all those years and thinking I was hideous. Shame. A lot of wasted time. I was miserable and unhappy and didn't know how to make it stop. That is my biggest regret. Not having more fun, not relishing the adventures ahead, that are now behind me. I guess in letting go, perhaps I can try to find enthusiasm for the adventures left ahead of me now.
One thing that does continue to bring me happiness is creating and developing new friendships, learning new things and being creative. I have to create or I believe my soul is destroyed. I took a very long break from doing something that brought me pleasure and that was designing jewelry. Part of that was on purpose. In 2009 I was burnt out. I had put a lot of work in and didn't see a lot of return. I also figured I needed to come up with something new and different and to focus on making my beads better. I decided to let my etsy shop go dormant and focusing on improving my craftsmanship in my flame worked beads. Nothing was selling online and the economy desintergrated. Then I injured my knee. Then I got sick with H1N1. For 6 weeks. That was thrilling. I've never been so sick I don't think. Then I had job changes. I continue to have job changes. And those have made me not happy.
But as I've been unhappy with my professional life, I have returned to designing jewelry and it has been fun. I did a couple of holiday shows, Glendale Glitters and Mesa Arts Festival. I made A LOT of new pieces. I got many of them on consignment at The Store at the Mesa Arts Center in Mesa, AZ and at Textures Hair Salon in Scottsdale, AZ. I got a bead and a necklace published in The Flow Magazine Winter 2010 Women in Glass edition. I'm on page 8. And finally I'm going to be getting around to doing the work required to get my etsy shop back up and running. And i have a ridiculously long to do list to improve my professional life and my personal life still. Which I intend to work on and forgive myself if it takes a while or sometimes I just don't get to it.
I'm hoping for a much better 2011 for me and everyone out there who has been struggling or facing hardships or have lost their way and are determined to find it again. Like I am.
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